I figured it out...

Being a 1L is supposed to take up massive quantities of time and pose the most difficult challenge you have experienced as of yet... You are intended to lose contact with people only to find out who your true friends have always been... You are meant to dive into books and come up only for air when necessary, but find that there is no air, only more books... Your life is supposed to change.

I figured out this morning, while running (turns out it isn't the great evil I thought, and that the most thought provoking questions arise when you literally can't get enough air in your lungs)... I liked my life before law school.

I had (still have, by the grace of God and a lot of work) a beautiful girlfriend. I had (and still have due to their seemingly infinite patience) friends who have maintained their commitment to supporting me since high school (which is seeming further and further in my past) and college (which I vaguely remember as being a good time in my life). I have even met some new people recently, pre-law school and in the past year and a half, who could have been added to that list. My family supports me, regardless of my career path, and I have more loves than just the law.

So, I am asking, why am I doing this?

That I didn't figure out while I was running today, but Thursday will offer up another 30 minutes of solitary time.

For those wondering, my first final went very well. I know I got at least a B, so that is one down and three to go. Yes, I want As, but in a world this competitive, with people who harbor a greater passion than I can muster for this subject, Bs will do for the first time in over ten years.

I just can't wait for winter break. Maybe then I can start to reclaim my old life. Maybe learn how to meld the two together... Who knows.