I Had a Dream

First, in the dream my brother and I were towing our boat into his friend's lagoon (which doesn't exist). We needed to rinse our shoes which had become sandy, so we went through this friend's father's strictly off limits room.

In there we climbed up on rickety wooden ladders. For some reason, possibly deterrent, bricks of asbestos were stacked in this ladder area. They were labeled with (I kid you not) "Warning: Asbestos! Sorry..." Why anyone posts an apology to their asbestos bricks I do not know. I sure don't... I mean, wouldn't.

We reached the top of the ladder, where we found ourselves in an arms warehouse FILLED with pirates. Don't think Johnny Depp; think of the tip of the ivory coast, machine guns, and ruthlessness unseen anywhere else in the world. My brother, genius and hero that he is (only in my mind and dreams), decides his need to rinse his shoes outweighs the risk of plunder from pirates, and he runs off.

There I am forced to choose between going into the den of theives and turning back (Ali Babba would be proud) when I feel something on my leg. There is, and it should be said that this is my absolute worst fear barring any other event possible in the entire world from contention, a black widow on my leg.

As I begin to weigh my options and survey my surroundings I notice HUNDREDS of spiders around me.

And then, in Looney Toon-esque fashion, I look up. Wile E. Coyote should never have looked down, and I should never look up.

A spider (I am literally frightened by the mere thought of this, and so in describing it I am freaking out... Man.) that can only be described as a black basketball with legs, two recessed red marbles for eyes, and the will of Satan, is suspended above me like the Sword of Domacles.

My dream self, faced with the prospect of a giant spider's imminent attack, utters "Fuck. Alright, time to wake up."

And here I am, two hours later, at 4:16 AM. The only object visible in the blackness of my room is the nonexistant spider in the corner. My eyelids close and conjure the same spider.

I bet you thought it was going to be a good dream because of the lagoon. Yeah... I did too.

Welcome to my world. Lagoon=secret, apologetic asbestos filled ladder ways=pirates=Satanic spider.

Since I can't sleep, I am going to do property.